X Why? - Why are men pigs*?

This week, we are looking at that age old question, why are men pigs?  That question has so many layers and avenues.  It is like asking,"How do you perceive time?"  It is very personal, deep, multi-themed, and sometimes, contradictory.

This convoluted question needs to be clarified with another question, what type of "piggish" behavior are you asking about?  Do you mean living in a pigsty?  Are you asking about man's desire to be piggish and wanting everything?  Are you wondering about men's gross behaviors like farting on each other and pull-my-finger jokes?  Do you question why men crave certain deviant sexual needs?  Is your question going into a completely different way?


Men have so many piggish behaviors that I can't answer them simply.  It would be to easy to recite the fable of the scorpion and the frog and blame man's nasty ways on human nature. 

A scorpion was at the bank of a mighty river and wanted to cross it, but couldn't since he was unable to swim.  He saw a frog who is about to swim across and asked, "Frog, may I ride across the river on your back?"


The frog filled with shock and fear said, "No, you are a scorpion and you will sting me while we cross.


The scorpion replied, "That would be suicide since if I stung you while crossing we would be both drown."


The frog thought about that and then reluctantly agreed to carry the scorpion across.  While in the middle the deepest and fastest flowing part of the river, the scorpion delivered a fatal sting to the frog.   As the they start to sink, the stricken frog asked, "Scorpion, why did you sting me for now we both will die."

The scorpion sadly replied "Because, it is my nature to sting.  I am sorry."

That fable is too simple to answer all the questions about man's bad behaviors yet maybe there is a kernel of truth in it.  It is in our nature to do these things.  The important thing to acknowledge though is that while all men have some form of piggish behavior, we don't all have the same piggish behaviors.

In the future, X-Why? will try to answer the why men exhibit various types of bad behavior.  For today, let us focus on one bad behavior that is still too complicated to simply answer, but hopefully can illuminate - Why do men sexually harass unknown women on the road?

This question came from Ann.  Ann is a professor at a local university.  She commutes forty miles per day to get to work.  In her five years since starting there, she has had three uncomfortable vehicular encounters with men while driving down I -80.

During her first encounter, she was driving along when a guy pulled even with her car, matching her speed, and kept staring at her.  She tried speeding up, but he matched her speed again.  She slowed down and so did he.  She changed lanes and he dropped in behind her.  Finally, she quickly took an exit at the last second and he was not able to follow her.

On her second encounter, a guy pulled along side her and holds a sign in his window.  It read, "Call me!  My number is XXX-XXX-XXXX"  He followed along for a bit then took an early exit.

The third encounter happened just last week.  She was driving along and this guy pulls along side of her and holds  up a sign, "Excuse me, just looking...".  He then took down the first sign and put up a second one, "... for an exhibitionist."  At this time, he lifted up his bare leg way high and smiled at her.

All three stories are creepy and the men were pigs.  As stated earlier, this is not a piggish behavior of all men and can't be attributed to all of us, but it was still wrong.  The exhibitionist/stalking nature of these acts are obviously wrong, but that is not the sole reason for their badness.  It is also their intimidation and forceful ways while doing it in a way that they have a quick escape. 

The third guy had a silver pickup, but had removed all badges and brand names from it.  It had no front license plate.  The only way to identify it was the rear plate, which he made sure she never saw.  The second guy, while the least offensive, sped away when she sneered and flipped him off.  (Kind of dumb to give a number to track you by).  The first guy was especially scary since he stalked to intimidate her.  He had a fast car and she was in a slow Toyota.  He knew he could use that as a tool in his perversion as well.

This need to be able to remain anonymous while boldly stating what they want shows these men had desires they could not fulfill through healthy avenues.  These desires may have been based out of  sexual, power-based, and/or fear motivations.  All three wanted to use surprise and intimidation as their shock tool and then wanted to see the reaction of the victim. 

Many social scientists state that rape and sexual intimidation are not sex based.  These behaviors are based in power, domination and control issues.  The sexual aspects are purely the ends to the mean, not the purpose it self.  I disagree.  I think it has a strong sexual component where this is the way they get their sexual kink satisfied.  They can't feel arousal through other means and this is their avenue to sexual satisfaction.  I don't discount the other motivations of domination and power projection.  All of these things combine into a complex and sick concoction of a hateful crime. (On a side note, I wonder why social scientists try to remove the sexual motivations of rape.  Is it to protect the identity of sex?)

So, why do men stalk women on the road?  It is their unhealthy sexual need that mixes surprise, intimidation, and shock to scratch their primal itch.  It is a deep-seeded instinct that needs attention and they are genetically programmed and culturally encouraged to use this method to get their needs met.  I am guessing they have some basic belief that this system of approach will work and the woman will eventually acquiesce to their desires.  At the very least, the fear and shock of the victim is stimulation enough to give them the sexual and physical satisfaction they need.   I am disgusted by these type of men since they reward their problems and inflict fear through cowardly and indirect ways (No.  I am not condoning active/direct sexual harm and violence.  I am stating they are cowards for not approaching their sexual needs in a positive and healthy way or getting help for their issues.).  Sadly, that level of involvement will not be enough in the future and they will probably escalate to darker methods.

This progression of sexual behaviors is a common part of male identity**.  At first, we dream of our first kiss.  After that, our first touch fills our desires.  We continually want more and deeper experiences as our sexuality matures.  In healthy men this continued desire for new and deeper sexual enjoyment is healthy and good for all involved.  In sexual predators, it is a disease and needs to be confronted and treated.  I have no problem with life-long incarceration if the treatment does not work.

I highly recommend to anyone who has been the victim of any type of intimidation to report the incident to the police.   These men are dangerous and you deserve your legal protection from them. 

*My first question wonders why we have to implicate the poor pig in this?  Pigs are intelligent and much less complex and disgusting than men.  I guess humans love assigning relationships to all behaviors, so the pig must suffer for it.

** ... and will be written about here, ad nauseum.

X Why? - Why do men jump up to touch things?

*"X Why?" is a new feature at HMR.  It will be a reoccurring column on why men do things.   These answers can range from actions, behaviors, desires, beliefs, and needs.  Most of these answers will come from half-assed, or better, research, specialists, the writer's opinion, and hopefully a little humor (but not afraid to tackle the serious ones as well).  HMR encourages readers to contribute questions and answers to the age-old question - Why do men...?

Today's question - Why do men have to jump up and touch signs, awnings, and other high up objects while walking down the sidewalk?

Very good question.  I do it.  My 75 year old dad does it.  My friend Jim is really good at it.  I have a few theories on this vertical need.

1.  To see if he can do it.   That is probably the best reason.  Guys need to test themselves regularly in physical and mental ways.  These experiments test to check ability, improvement, maintenance, or decline in performances in this skill.  It may be some evolutionary trait we can't suppress because we never know when we may need to jump up and get something out of survival needs.  I have used this ability many times to rescue helium balloons from going into ceiling fans.

2.  To impress friends, family and love interests.  I remember when I discovered I was able to lift heavier things than my dad and my brother, run faster than my friends, and reach higher store awnings than most people.  Being 6'4" really helps with the last one.  My friend Jim, at 5'10" has a higher vertical jump than me, but I can still reach higher up the awning.  As for impressing love interests, what lover doesn't appreciate a guy who can reach "way up there".  If he is good at that, then he must be really good at...

3.  To experience the object.  Babies need to stick things in their mouths to understand them.  Men have to touch them.  This need to touch things includes needing to jump way up and touch the object, even if only for a brief moment.  I truly appreciate the beauty of a store awning by feeling its canvas texture, temperature, and density as my hand slaps it for a brief moment.  I can even tell you what color it is by doing that.   Why do you think men love to caress those they love?

Women, I encourage you to try and do this the next time you walk down the street and see something up there, jump up and touch it.  You may discover the beauty of this simple act.  You will also greatly confuse any men watching you.  Gender transgressions are great for the psyche.

*The title comes from the genetic chromosomes that determine male physical gender, XY.  (Women have XX chromosomes to identify physical gender.)  The chromosomes got their name by their shapes.

*X Why? - The Money Shot

Big Money  - Photo of video from Behind the Green Door - 1972

A money shot (also called a "money-making" shot) is a provocative, sensational, or memorable sequence in a film, on which the film's commercial performance is perceived to depend. [emphasis mine]

In Pornography:
A money shot has also been used as another name for a cum shot in pornographic films. The shot was so named because if a male actor could not provide this shot he would not be paid.  It has also been argued that this is the filmed moment the audience has paid to see.  According to Stephen Zitlow, author of The Film Maker's Guide to Pornography , "...the cum shot, or, as some refer to it, 'the money shot', is the most important element in the movie and that everything else (if necessary) should be sacrificed at its expense."
The degree of acceptance that the term has acquired in pop culture is problematic to estimate.[emphasis mine] - Wikipedia

Why is the culmination, the ultimate moment, the money shot the absolute must have in porn?  There is the physical obvious.  When a many cums, he needs to go through a full cycle before he is ready again, and that is assuming he can get ready again.  While that is the obvious, the allure and importance of the money shot goes beyond that.

To try to find reasons why the money shot has achieved its status, let us explore the actual event.  I've watched enough porn to be able to break down the money shot ending three ways (can be straight or gay):

1. The man pulls out of her vagina (or anus) and finishes near the location (backside or front).  The partner (male or female) still moves his/her hips in the sexual rhythm prior to the pull out.  The physical remnants of his orgasm are either played with by the partner or the scene fades away and the mess is forgotten.  
2. The man is getting a blow job or mammary stimulation (titty fuck in porn parlance) and releases on her/his mouth, face, neck, breasts, chest, etc.  
3. The man pulls out of the vagina or anus and both quickly move around so he can finish on her/his mouth, face, neck, breasts, chest, etc.

Within each of these three areas are many variations.  These variations are due to theme, attitude, and feel of the video.  In recent years, the themes of dominance, misogyny, and demeaning the woman are becoming more prevalent.  I believe that domination and abuse while finishing the money shot goes beyond the usual motivation and appreciation of the money shot.  It is more of a fetish, a dominance and power projection issue and less of a sexual one (which may be worth another post in the future).

According to a University of Sydney study, 70% of men and 30% of women admit to viewing online pornography.  With that in mind, the producers of porn are obviously going to create their products for the male gaze (although there are a number of porn and erotica producers, like Candida Royalle, that create material for female audiences.)  It then is easy to assume the money shot is intended for guys.  In femme-focused adult movies, they rarely, if ever, show a money shot.

So, what is the need of the money shot?  As stated above, it is the omega to the scene, but that doesn't answer why it has to be external.  I would guess it is because men are such visual consumers of erotic content, they have to see it to believe.  If they don't see the man ejaculate all over, it didn't happen.  In the past twenty years, more porn showing female ejaculation (squirting in porn parlance) has also grown popular.  This may be attributed to the same basic reason, by seeing it, we can believe she actually had an orgasm.  On a side note, the woman's ejaculation is rarely the money shot.  It usually is just a build up to the male money shot that ends the scene.

Another reason for the absolute importance of the money shot may be that many men can not handle the moments after orgasm, both in porn and in reality.  They want the end to be... the end.  Many men do not like dealing with life after the orgasm.  This is the time when the intimacy after post-intimacy begins.  This is the time when true emotions either are shared or hurried out the door.   Some men can't handle that post-moment moment.  There is an old saying, "Men don't pay prostitutes for sex, they pay them to leave afterward."  The same may also be true about the money shot.  Many men want the orgasm and not the afterward.


One reason that many men would not admit to about enjoying the money shot is its homoerotic nature.  In most porno movies the guy has a well hung cock that is swollen, sexy and perfect.  By watching the ejaculate flying out, it is a primal rush.  We are watching an alpha male with a big one and we admire it, envy it, and for some - desire it.  I think the comedian Ron White states it perfectly.



What about real life?  Yes, it can be sexy.  We have to remember though the reason for a money shot can be very different than why we may do it in our own sexual relations.  (That may be worth another entire post, but maybe not.)

Why is the money shot crucial?  To be honest, I think every male (and maybe female) viewer of porn has a different view and appreciation of it.  It may be just another way to say "The End" without words.  On the other hand, it could be a much deeper need for closure, arousal, fear, power, and other needs and emotions that make male sexuality a lot more complex than many think it is.


Photo note- During my recent trip to Las Vegas, I visited The Erotic Heritage Museum.  It is a great sex-positive museum with a pretty decent academic/artistic push in it.  It will have something to arouse everyone and a few things that will disgust anyone.  I highly recommend taking the side trip to it.  One of the best treats is they let patrons take photos of the exhibits.  You will see more of my photos in future posts.

They have an oval shaped room that shows pornographic movies from all the decades, including one from the beginning of the last century.  You sit on these overstuffed,plush benches in the middle and are surrounded by moving porn of the ages.  I started taking photos of the various movies and got the one above.  It is from the San Francisco cult classic, Behind the Green Door.  I knew as soon as I started this post I wanted this image at the top.


*The title comes from the genetic chromosomes that determine male physical gender, XY.  (Women have XX chromosomes to identify physical gender.)  The chromosomes got their name by their shapes.

*X Why? What is it about the crotch shot?

Leila 091610 - 1

Why is the crotch shot so well loved, and loved on, by men?  Many of us spend hours a day looking at photos and movies of them on the internet.  Before the internet, we would rent videos with them.  Millions of magazines sell the *crotch shot.  There is an allure to the crotch shot for men, or at least this man.

I, and other bloggers, have written extensively on the artistic value of the crotch shot.  Please read the content at these links for those points.  I am not writing about that today.   I am more interested in why most men, including me, have such a fascination with this type of explicit photo. (Link1 - Photo Fermata) (Link2 What We Saw Today)

I remember when I first snuck a peak at dad's Playboy stash back in the late 1970's.  Playboy didn't have graphic crotch shots back then.  The women rarely spread their legs leaving this  pre and early pubescent boy with no idea what was down there.  All I knew was that something about that area enticed me to seeing it.  The first detailed crotch shot for me came from an unlikely source, my mom's copy of Gray's Anatomy (she is a nurse).  That image didn't really do much for me because it was so... clinical and sterile.  It had labels written in a fancy italic font.  It was not real.  I wanted to see a photo of a real one.

Illustration from Gray's Anatomy - 1918

When my brother left for college in the early 1980's I found a few copies of Penthouse he had hidden.  I finally saw my first crotch shot.  I was in puberty and it made me so aroused that the moment did not last long.  I knew right then I had seen the holy grail, the part of the woman that held a power over me and always wanted to see, touch, taste, and have sex with.  Since that time I've seen thousands of crotch shots through all the media I listed above.

While I usually grow tired of seeing such repetition, these photos will always pique my interest in the first few seconds.   I believe this basic instinct to look and feel deep interest that overrides the higher brain functions that would normally disregard such experiences.  Some part of me has the deep erotic and sensual need to know what beauty each woman has down there.  It is the basic physical identity of gender and why men and women were built differently.  We evolved to seek these parts out and to procreate.  Without this deep desire, we would have died out.

I try to find beauty in the open leg imagery (all media) with an artistic and erotically sensual appreciation, but the basis of it is the deep, DNA programming in my true core that says, "you want that, go get it."  As much as I try to make high-ended arguments for the merit of explicit imagery, most of it boils down to that truth of core desire.

Leila - 091610-2

For me, I don't want to see the open-legged shot first.  I want to build to it.  I don't want the shock of just seeing it first and being done with it.  The slow visual foreplay helps build the stage to seeing the ultimate beauty of the moment.  Without that buildup, the image or moment has no more sensual meaning than the drawing from Gray's Anatomy.

I've read criticism that the crotch shot objectifies the woman down to only being a vagina.    As an artist, I agree with that line of thought, especially if that is all you see of the woman.  As a mostly heterosexual man, I see that objectified body part, but I also see it as one of the ways into a woman.  Obviously there is the literal opening into her.  That should go without saying.  The more profound opening is the personal, representational opening of sexual pleasure into a woman's life.  I know there are many other physical erogenous areas to the woman's body, but let's be honest, this is probably the most obvious one.  By my getting to know that and all of her body, her pleasures, her special spots, along with the intangible things like music, food, words, imagery, etc., that get her sexually aroused, I am a better lover which is rewarding for both of us.  But getting back to the first part, is the crotch shot objectifying, my artistic answer involves lengthy discussions on intent, theme, etc.  For my base male answer, yes.   It is objectifying and it is my heterosexual nature to not only look, but look again and to maybe even be aroused by it.

Leila 091610 - 3

Even after having the pleasure and honor of enjoying this place on real women who shared themselves with me, that base desire is always still there.  It is just stronger since I know how it feels when I caress it, taste it, and we make love.  The visual images of it now represent all those shared sensation of sex.

I've looked at gay graphic images and notice the same trend.  While those photos don't float my boat like explicit female photos, the details are very similar.  These photos show models with flacid, semi, and fully erect penises.  Some are touching themselves, others have no hands in sight.  The testes and anuses are sometimes visible as well.  These explicit images must work for gay and bisexual men (and probably a few women as well, but I will not speak for them).  Even though procreation is impossible, the basic instinct of arousal is there.   The only difference is the gender of the subject matter


Most of hardcore porn, whether with heterosexuals, lesbians, or gay men, includes many "two fer" crotch shots.  You see both partners naughty bits up close and in action (very different than inaction).  They are reduced down to the most basic and base aspect of sex, the part that usually leads to the orgasm.  You now have objectified both partners.  You have deconstructed the whole human sexuality to one specific moment, the core essence of it all.

Leila 091610 - 4

This manly desire, whether gay or straight, for seeing graphic representations of the **woman's or ***man's primary genitalia  is innate for most sexually active men.  It is a part of our DNA, our core essence.  It feeds and inflames our masturbatory hunger as well.  As with almost all behaviors, learned or native, they can be encouraged, shaped, changed, or even put into remission with lots of behavioral modification.  My final question then is, should that instinct be left alone, altered, enlightened, or eradicated?


*Which is not the same as the money shot.  That is worth writing another post in the future.
 ** That sounds about as sexy as the Gray's Anatomy drawing looks, so lets call it a pussy, kitty, or whatever term you find to your liking.  I will not call it a cunt because that word is so charged with venom these days that it is disservice to use it.
*** Use whichever term you like: dick, cock, penis, etc.  I personally don't like the term pecker, but to each their own.  Interesting how there is not another term for it that is as offensive as cunt.

Photo note- Thanks Leila.  I chose my photos of her because I too them pre - 2009 and the 2257 regs don't haunt them as much.


*The title comes from the genetic chromosomes that determine male physical gender, XY.  (Women have XX chromosomes to identify physical gender.)  The chromosomes got their name by their shapes.