*"X Why?" is a new feature at HMR. It will be a reoccurring column on why men do things. These answers can range from actions, behaviors, desires, beliefs, and needs. Most of these answers will come from half-assed, or better, research, specialists, the writer's opinion, and hopefully a little humor (but not afraid to tackle the serious ones as well). HMR encourages readers to contribute questions and answers to the age-old question - Why do men...?
Today's question - Why do men have to jump up and touch signs, awnings, and other high up objects while walking down the sidewalk?
Very good question. I do it. My 75 year old dad does it. My friend Jim is really good at it. I have a few theories on this vertical need.
1. To see if he can do it. That is probably the best reason. Guys need to test themselves regularly in physical and mental ways. These experiments test to check ability, improvement, maintenance, or decline in performances in this skill. It may be some evolutionary trait we can't suppress because we never know when we may need to jump up and get something out of survival needs. I have used this ability many times to rescue helium balloons from going into ceiling fans.
2. To impress friends, family and love interests. I remember when I discovered I was able to lift heavier things than my dad and my brother, run faster than my friends, and reach higher store awnings than most people. Being 6'4" really helps with the last one. My friend Jim, at 5'10" has a higher vertical jump than me, but I can still reach higher up the awning. As for impressing love interests, what lover doesn't appreciate a guy who can reach "way up there". If he is good at that, then he must be really good at...
3. To experience the object. Babies need to stick things in their mouths to understand them. Men have to touch them. This need to touch things includes needing to jump way up and touch the object, even if only for a brief moment. I truly appreciate the beauty of a store awning by feeling its canvas texture, temperature, and density as my hand slaps it for a brief moment. I can even tell you what color it is by doing that. Why do you think men love to caress those they love?
Women, I encourage you to try and do this the next time you walk down the street and see something up there, jump up and touch it. You may discover the beauty of this simple act. You will also greatly confuse any men watching you. Gender transgressions are great for the psyche.
*The title comes from the genetic chromosomes that determine male physical gender, XY. (Women have XX chromosomes to identify physical gender.) The chromosomes got their name by their shapes.
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