Perchance... it was more than just a dream.

Valya - 102410

To sleep, perchance to dream. - Hamlet

Perchance... it was more than just a dream. - my occasional wish.

Have you ever had one of those sexy dreams that felt so real that it affected how you felt upon waking up and how you thought through the day?  Ok, here is a twist.  Have you had one of those powerful sexy dreams of a coworker, colleague, friend, or someone who you saw the next day?  How did that make you feel?  Did it change how you acted around him/her?  Did they know?  Was it something more than just a dream?

My friend UL has been exploring dreams over at her great blog, What We Saw Today (WWST).  This morning she wrote about erotic dreams and the effects all dreams can have on our conscious life and help us see connections, relations and answers.   I wonder about the same thing with erotic dreams starring people we have platonic or professional relationships with.

I've written quite a bit about the nightmares and horror dreams I get most nights over at The Photo Fermata.  Those dreams are a huge part of who and how I am, but I also have good dreams, powerful dreams, and sexy dreams.  Those breaks from horror are better than a fine dessert.

Last month I had a dream with "Jill" in it (I actually know no one with that name, so it is a safe replacement).  Jill and I've worked together for a few years.  I've always found her attractive and fun to be around, but never really had any conscious erotic thoughts about her.  In my dream we were walking in the city in the rain, holding hands and being silent.  She took me to her apartment (funny thing since she has a home thirty miles from the city, but I appreciate how dreams make things convenient) and we then...   Well, that can live in my mind and my dreams.  It is not that I am prude or afraid of sharing something sexy, personal, or want to avoid bragging.  I withhold the details because to type them out tends to take the mystery, magic and emotion out of them.


In the dream, the details were so real, the senses very alive, and the moment so burned into my mind.  I can still feel the touches, the fabric of her clothes, and the recall the details in such depth even after a month.  Imagine how I felt waking up from that last dream of the night.  I was floating out of that into the dark, cold reality of my morning ritual.  Once I showered and shaved, the freshness of the dream had worn off and my mind drifted onto work, bills, feeding my dogs, and finding car keys.


I had a meeting at 10am and sat at the table getting my notes in order.  Jill walked in and sat opposite of me and said her usual good morning salutations.  I looked up and my mind instantly filled with both the sight and the feeling of her skin with mine.  I had to blink a few times and try to get back on task.  Neither of us had a major part in the meeting, so I had time to reflect on the dream.  Even though my logical awake mind knew that nothing real had happened between us, I felt this connection with her that was raw, fresh, and made me feel connected with her.  My subconscious mind was feeling something that my conscious mind repudiated.

The challenge with my subconscious mind is that my it pushes its will crudely and broadly with great force.  It holds the lust, fear, passion, joy, and other basic emotions and pushes them through like a bulldozer.  It is not subtle.  It has chemical properties, like hormones, pheromones, and other biological emotional concoctions working for it to plow reason to the side.  It takes a long time to put this basic, carnal process back into its box.  All through the meeting my base mind thought of what we had shared.  My logical mind kept reminding me, "IT WAS A DREAM!"


Jill stopped by my office later in the morning.   My base brain felt like we had shared something very intimate, but the dissonance of the real interaction vs. the one from the dream was breaking down the illusion.  I started to feel awkward and embarrassed.  One little part of my brain had to ask, "Can she tell I had that dream?  Is it written all over my face?"  It felt similar to when you get caught in the middle of a lustful gaze by the subject of the moment.


I managed to keep all these emotions under control and we chatted about a project.  When Jill left, she looked back and smiled in a way I had never seen before.  Did she know?  Did she notice something different about how I acted toward her?  Was I giving off some unconscious clues as to my dreamed carnal pleasures?  Had she shared the same dream the night before?  I guess my question became, was it a powerful sign from the universe? or as Freud said, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."


Photo note:  Valya is a true model, muse and artist.  You can see more of our work here. Warning:  Some of the photos are very hard to look at due to dark content.

You can debate the artistic validity of the photo above and whether it is art, porn, both, or neither.  One of the things I like about having this blog is that it explores my id instead of letting my ego and super ego control it.  I can post things I wouldn't on my other blog.