Getting your ass kicked

Every fuckin’ beatin’ I’m grateful for. Every fuckin’ one of them. Get all the trust beat outta you. And you know what the fuckin’ world is.- Al Swearengen Deadwood (played by Ian McShane)

Have you ever been in the losing end of a fight?  Have you ever been punched in the face?  I don't approve of fighting for useless reasons, but I do believe it is both an unavoidable and important rite of passage in a man's life, similar to losing a parent.

I wrote a bit about my fighting history over at The Photo Fermata.  You can read the full account here.  
In the post about when I had to be on the losing side of fights.

My first memories of fighting violence are from the early 70's. I was in preschool- kindergarten. My dad worked for the Bureau of Indian Affairs as an engineer on irrigation systems. We were living in Lower Brule, South Dakota on an Indian reservation during the same time the American Indian Movement (AIM) was flaring up at the neighboring Pine Ridge Indian Reservation at Wounded Knee. Being the white kids of a government employee during this time was not easy. I am not going to write about the politics and the different sides of the issues. At four years old, my only side was keeping from getting beat up, and that was it.

On a regular basis, my brother and I were cornered and forced to fight or take a beating from a classmate or two. My brother is five years older than me. I learned a hard lesson. If I won the fight, I had to fight my opponents older brother or sister. At one point I had to learn when to take the beating over winning the fight. My brother had the same problems. He would jump in and protect me if I was way over-matched, but he had his own back to watch.

I learned a few things from taking a beating and getting punched in the face, the gut, and the balls.  The fear of these hits are in ways worse than the actual hit.  Before getting hit the first time, I feared I would break apart into pieces like glass.  After the hit, the kick, the punch, I learned that it hurt like hell, but I could still fight back and win.  I also learned that I would heal over time.  I learned who to fear, when to fear and when to give up.

I really wish some hard lessons in life weren't so hard, but unfortunately bad shit happens in life.  We fight, we hurt each other, we lose family members, and we eventually lose ourselves.

Below is a fight scene from Deadwood between Swearengen (Ian McShane) and Sheriff Bollock (Timothy Olymphant).  While it is very graphic, it shows how most fights end with both sides really hurting.  The makers of Deadwood were the best at showing the pummeling, bludgeoning, deep trauma of physical fights.  After watching one, you don't want to be in it.  The fight ends with both sides having secret weapons, a knife and a boy.